A Real Pain In The Neck!

It started four days ago.  I’m not sure exactly what I did, but I woke up Sunday morning with a pain in my neck.  It wasn’t too bad at first, just a small pain that I could power through.  It eventually went away, and I had a fantastic practice session at California Billiards.   Then Monday hit, and the pain was back… with a vengeance.  No practice for me that day!  On Tuesday morning it was worse – my neck was so stiff I couldn’t turn my head at all.  I knew there was no way I would be able to play that day, so I called ahead and took the night off from my Tuesday night APA team.  By Wednesday afternoon things weren’t much better, so I didn’t play for my own APA team.  This really sucks!  No pool for four days?

Tonight, I decided I couldn’t take it anymore.  I had to go to California Billiards.  I grabbed my pool cue case and my laptop bag and headed out.  I had some work to do (it’s performance review time kiddos!), so I figured I’d connect to work from the pool hall (free internet access!) and once my neck loosened up I’d shoot a few games.  Well, I got lots of work done, but my stinkin neck wouldn’t let me get to the table.  Aarrrggghhh!

I gave up hope, grabbed my goodies, threw them in the truck, and headed toward home.  I struggled to vanquish an onslaught of negative thoughts…players practicing and laughing at me because I could no longer keep up with them… me losing my touch and regressing back to where I was six months ago… visiting my doctor and discovering that I have a rare case of neck-stiffyitis which is incurable, and I’ll never be able to play again…and on and on and on.  I glance at my clock…9:38pm.  Suddenly, I see a red flash of light out of the corner of my eye…….

WHOAH!   I SLAM ON THE BREAKS!

EEeeeerrrrrrrrggggghhHHHHH!

 THE HOT DOUGHNUT SIGN IS ON!

I whip my truck around and stand on the gas pedal.  The engine screams and claws for oxygen as I careen through the median.  OH HELL YES, THERE’S HOPE!  Within 45 seconds I pull up to the front of Krispy Kreme, engine still gasping for air.  I leap from the driver’s seat with my iPhone in hand… and I’ve got the whole place to myself!!

Krispy Kreme! And I've Got The Whole Place To Myself!

I notice that the hot doughnut sign is now turned off, so I quickly head inside to secure the goods.  What I find is nothing short of a miracle…thousands of super-hot melt in your mouth doughnut holes are cascading from the doughnut machinery.  WHAAAHOOOOO!  Twenty-four hot doughnut holes later, I’m starting to feel pretty good again.  There’s not much a hot doughnut can’t fix! Maybe I’ll get back to the table tomorrow…oh yeah, I’m sure of it!

Heaven on Earth: Hot Krispy Kreme Doughnuts!

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9 responses to “A Real Pain In The Neck!

  1. man, that’s worse than my popeyes binge. 😛

  2. I get that too. I think it comes from practicing so much. A chiropractor does wonders. The doughnuts aren’t a bad idea though.

  3. Michael, I had the same problem with my neck last year. I’d suggest visiting a chiropractor and reducing your practice hours. Good luck – it took months for me to fully recover. 😦

  4. Uh oh! Both you and Jt are saying the same thing. Do you think I practice too much? Nahhh… Did I mention that my lower back is sore too? Probably from practicing break shots. Oh…. okay, maybe I am practicing too much. I think I need to do some cross training, maybe start running again to remind my body that there are other forms of exercise. Thanks for the warnings!

  5. I have a pain in my neck, maybe if I give her some doughnut holes she’ll go away.

  6. Sometimes Michael, you’re just too funny for words. I do hope your neck gets better. I had a similar ailment. It went away just like it came on….for no reason I can think of, but if it happens again I’ll try some hot doughnut holes.

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