Tag Archives: Kyle Odell

The Hustle Before Christmas

For the hoildays, I wanted to share with you the best pool related poem ever written.  It is reprinted here with permission from the author, Kyle Odell.  Kyle is an avid pool player who lives in Kansas City, MO.  You can also follow Kyle on twitter.  Enjoy!

The Hustle Before Christmas

by Kyle Odell

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the town,
it was silent and empty, no action was found.
The railbirds were nestled, all snug in their beds,
while visions of jump shots danced in their heads.

The tables were quiet, the cues put away,
I went to shoot drills, though I wanted to play.
The parking lot glistened with new-fallen snow,
and the lights from the pool room gave off a faint glow.

I stopped for a minute, ’cause I’d gotten out of line.
I bore down real hard and made a bank on the nine.
When outside the door there arose such a clatter!
I ran to the window to see what was the matter.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
but a jolly fat man and eight strange-looking deer.
He was dressed all in red from his head to his toe,
and he grabbed a case from his sleigh with a “Ho ho ho!”

He walked through the door and checked out the hall:
“I’m looking for action. Who plays nine ball?”
I made a small sound and he looked o’er my way.
He whipped out his cellphone and called his backers, by name:

“Hey Comet, Hey Blitzen, Hey Leroy and Scott!
I got some action, and this kid looks hot!”
He looked me up and down, in his obnoxious attire.
“Race to eleven? I’ll give you two on the wire.”

I finished the match, and beat the fat man in red,
when he smiled at his stakehorse, then turned and said:
“Do it again, kid? But I want first break….
Oh, one more thing…Double the stakes?”

I should’ve known better, but agreed just the same.
And I was amazed when I saw St. Nick’s game!
There were caroms and kick-safes before he was done,
and when he comboed the nine, I knew he had won.

So if you meet a man in red, take a moment to pause,
or you too might get hustled by Ol’ Santa Claus.

Merry Christmas!